Radio Scripts.
Script 1 - The Girls, and James
Michelle, Orla, Claire, Erin and James from Derry Girls.
Barista.
FX:
Door open
Bells
Low chatter
Cafe ambient sounds
Relaxing music
Michelle: (Confident and eager) Ok girls, who wants to do drugs.
Orla: (Curious and distracted) I like the look of their magic brownies
Claire: (Gasp) Weed brownies! They’ve put the weed in the brownies!
Michelle: So what Claire? Drugging people isn’t a crime
James: You’ve a very loose grasp of the law, Michelle
Erin: (Astute) Actually, Michelle’s right. You may not know if you
(obnoxiously) don’t keep up with current affairs like myself but -
-the government just made cannabis legal
Michelle: So you can relax the cax, Claire.
Barista: (Pleasant) Heyez, what can I get you?
Orla: (To the others) Her Dublin accent is SO cracker
VO: The Coffee Shop, Ranelagh and Monkstown. Coffee on another dimension.
James: ...Everyone else can see the elephant too right?
Script 2 - Sister Michael
Sr. Michael speaks on radio.
Sr. Michael: Right so you just want me to say my opinion and then I get free -
Right.
FX: Tapping on the microphone.
Screechy mic sound.
Sr. Michael: (Cough) This is a public service announcement.
Now, I know what many people will think when I say what I’m about to say.
“You can’t endorse that foul business.” “Nuns shouldn’t be into that kind of thing”.
And they may be right but do you know what, I think I’m going to… go ahead and do it anyway.
Life is a pain in the arse at the best of times and now that the government says it’s ok well, you’d be a fool not to…
I’d recommend the wavy waffles, a personal favourite, (under her breath) not for the weak among us.
(As if finished but then remembering, quickly coming back to the mic)
FX: Footsteps. Mic screech.
Sr. Michael: Oh and it’s eh The Coffee Shop, Ranelagh. They’re open daily.
The usual, Maria!
V/O: The Coffee Shop, Ranelagh and Monkstown.
Coffee on another dimension.
Sr. Michael: Ahhhh